Friday, March 24, 2006

Ali Baba

The following is translated from the original Spanish:

Somewhere in South America, 2007.

X. Well, colonel, as you know, the purpose of Operation Sword is to persuade the public that there really are these dangerous terrorists out there and that we must invade our neighbour. There have been rumours that some of the terrorists were working for us. There are too many people doubting the official versions of events.

Y. Which parts of the public are we targetting in particular?

X. I think most people are included in the following list: shoppers, sports fans, people who go out in the evening to places of entertainment, people who eat fast food, people who use public transport, people who use public toilets.

Y. Who is our key man?

X. Ali Baba. He worked for us in Ecuador. He’s fond of money, girls, boys and drugs. He's recruited a few former criminals, lunatics and losers.

Y. You mentioned shoppers?

X. Yes, the story will be that Ali Baba’s group planned to bomb shops, public toilets, sports grounds, and pubs.

Y. Public toilets?

X. We thought of toy shops, primary schools and children’s hospitals but decided toilets would be more memorable.

Y. Sports grounds. We need a big name here.

X. We need a sports ground that is well known around the world. You like the basic idea? The public will be really furious with these terrorists.

Y. Why is Ali Baba not appearing to target the top people?

X. You are joking.

Y. I was thinking of the object that hit military HQ. That attack made people think that it was not the military that was behind the terror.

X. That was clever. As you know, the part that was hit had been under construction.But our bosses do not want to take the risk that someone important might be killed by accident. Remember that diplomat who was in the wrong place at the wrong time when the consulate garden got hit.

Y. In any case, your Ali Baba is not going to actually let off any bombs.

X. Exactly. A simple court case is less messy and the public can see photos of Ali Baba and his gang.

Y. Court case?

X. Yes. Ali Baba will make a confession. There will be excellent evidence, just like they had in the Lockerbie case in Europe.

Y. What happens to Ali Baba and his friends?

X. What happened to the Guy Fawkes plotters over in Europe? Ali Baba will go to prison but will then disappear. His gang will not be so lucky.


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